Two common reasons people say they cheat on their marriage are: 1. They don't feel loved and: 2. They crave a taste of the excitement they felt when they first fell in love. So, what if the only person you ever want to cheat with--not on--was your partner? What would you give for that pleasure and peace of mind? How would it work?
How is it that some couples can stay in love for a lifetime? How do some couples act like they're still dating when they've been married for decades? Mary Lou and I aren't psychologists or therapists, but we've been married for 39 years and have worked together as entrepreneurs even longer inventing our own consumer products and marketing them around the world. And yes, it does feel like we are cheating with each other.
People ask us how we managed to work together every day and still be in love. About ten years ago we started examining that question, and it lead to a discovery that turbocharged our marriage and led to writing FIVE STAR LOVE: Treat Your True Love Like a Customer and Get The Marriage of Your Dreams.
How to stay in love is based on one simple and powerful idea. We believe that marriages don't fail because of infidelity, money problems, sex, in-law troubles or any of the other usual suspects. Those are just the symptoms of something more fundamental. We believe marriages fail for the same reason businesses fail. They stop showing their customers that they care.
If that sounds simplistic, think back to when you started shopping at a new store or eating in a new restaurant. At the grand opening you were treated like a rich relative. The same holds true when you started dating. You treated each other like royalty. The store, restaurant or couple that continued their royal treatment is likely thriving. The ones that stopped showing they cared are likely out of business and divorced.
Nobody likes being taken for granted
When a business takes its customers for granted, it loses them to the competition. Relationships are no different. If you fail to treat your partner well, he or she will pack up their heart and carry their loyalty down the street to someone who does care and gives them the attention they crave.
You might wonder how all of this customer care works. Is it just a glorified date night? No. It's much more. FIVE STAR LOVE delivers the practical examples and skills you need to become each others raving fans. It reveals how world class companies earn their customers' loyalty for life. It shows you how to master The Ten Powers of Passionate Care used by great companies and how to apply them to your personal relationship and create the marriage of your dreams.
We wrote this book because we're on a quest to help couples stay in love for life. Our hope is this: if enough couples can master these Ten Powers of Passionate Care and put them into practice, it could make a real dent in the divorce rate and keep families together. About two million marriages take place every year in the U.S.--and nearly one million divorces.
Imagine if the divorce rate could be cut by just 5% per year? That would save 50 thousand marriages each year in the USA alone. In ten years that's a half million families that won't be torn apart. What a difference that would make to our children. It's not easy to change the world, but what if we all could build a better marriage--think of the possibilities.
In the next post we'll tell you the story of how we discovered the FIVE STAR LOVE idea, how we've applied it to our marriage, and how we feel like we are cheating with each other and loving it, every day.